WELCOME TO THE
DAVID M. LAWRENCE
BORING HOME PAGE! (zzz)


You must NOT have much of a life if you found yourself here. I don't have much of a life, either, or else I'd have better things to do than design this.

For those of you who don't know me, I have a full-time job and allegedly run a small business, but I'm open to other offers (hint, hint). I am both a journalist and scientist, and work (even get paid) in both realms. For those who are interested, check out my resume or my curriculum vitae. You should find them equally unenlightening. My obituary is also included. It is more revealing than the other propaganda.

I had included several essays written either as part of my application to the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism or for my application for entrance into the school's Health, Science and Environment Reporting concentration.

I have made sporadic attempts at writing poetry and have selected a few for you to check out. At your own risk, of course.

Web Note

Valid HTML 4.01!I am trying to upgrade this site to make it compliant with W3C (World Wide Web Consortium) and CSS (Cascading Style Sheet) standards. Most of fuzzo.com, including the David M. Lawrence BORING home pages!, will be upgraded to at least meet the W3C HTML 4.01 Transitional standard. This means, of course, that some things will not look the way it is supposed to in non-compliant browsers -- such as Internet Explorer.

Valid CSS!I am dropping the old-fashioned frame design of this site. Frames are antiquated and a bit of a pain, but this CSS-structured version will not work quite as intended in older browsers (such as Netscape 4.x and Internet Explorer 4.x), or even in more recent browsers such as Internet Explorer 6.x).

For example, this site is designed so that the navigation bar on the left remains stationary, while the main content -- the stuff you're reading now -- scrolls as necessary. It does so in Mozilla Firefox 9.3, Mozilla 1.4, and in Opera 7.54, but the entire page scrolls in Internet Explorer 6.0.

ATTENTION RISK ASSESSORS!!!

Introducing EPC Calculator, a program that can help risk assessors evaluate contaminant data and calculate the exposure point concentration (EPC) of the data using the appropriate statistical distribution.

ATTENTION DENDROCHROLOGISTS!!!

A new version of CLIM EXtract for WINdows is now available. The new version of the program can search and extract climate data from both Global Historical Climate Network version 1 and version 2 files.

I have completed work on Verify for Windows, an update of Henri D. Grissino-Mayer's verify5 program, that should run on any 32-bit Windows operating system (WIN9x, WINNT, etc.). This is the first of what I hope to be a long series of updates to software used by the tree-ring research community. For links to other goodies of interest to dendrochronologists, check out my Science! page.

Send comments, criticism, praise, flattery, job offers or money to me, of course!


OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: I don't want to seem pompous, egotistical, or act like I should have Roman numerals following my last name, but I have to include my middle initial with my name because it is just TOO DAMN COMMON! My parents wanted to come up with something original, and called me David -- WRONG!!!!! Everywhere I have lived I have had the wrong medical records pulled or received phone calls for other David Lawrence's, from the police, from people wanting to discuss the results of medical tests I didn't take, and from "friends" offering jobs or proposals for alternative lifestyles which I'm sure the other David Lawrences probably enjoyed, but, well, they just weren't my thang. So now I always put in the initial, as if it's going to help.

Yeah, right.


According to [WEB COUNTER],

this page has been accessed by [COUNTER] individual critters since 11 September 1996.

One wonders why...